When I feel my self reacting, it's typically when someone puts words in my mouth, seems uninterested in how I feel or what I think, judges me without hearing me out, or says "I know how you feel." Employees experience this all the time as managers often fail to 'seek to understand' in the words of the late Steven Covey.

 

How often do you take the time to ask questions and listen with care and desire to understand? The next time you're on one end of a disagreement, check in with yourself. Are you feeling heard? Are you helping them feel heard? I'm willing to bet it will change the course of the conversation...